drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Randomize
