she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
