So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
