i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize