Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
