So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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