So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
