Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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