He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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