Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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