she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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