Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We are two peas in an std pod
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
