The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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