I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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