I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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