last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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