I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
