the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
