Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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