Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
