dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
