His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
it glows. i had to have it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
