ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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