Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize