I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm like, not good at living.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
