last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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