Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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