i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
