take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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