Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
