I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
