Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
