Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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