I'm sorry my penis didn't work
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
