someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's blow job season.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
