Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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