haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
