Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
