their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize