My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
