i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
