so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
