When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
