dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
