hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
