If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
