he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
