Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
