you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
