Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
