What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Couch. On fire.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
