you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
