jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
