Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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