We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
too bad you live with your parents still
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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