i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i think i just lost a toe
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
