I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
