New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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