Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
