How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Randomize
