margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
