I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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