I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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