It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Randomize
