But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize