Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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