Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
