White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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