spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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