Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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