I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
