Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
