he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
