dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
